You had my Heart and Soul
by erinsgirl
Summary: They could never walk away. What nobody knew about New York


Rachel Berry barely managed to stifle her cry of surprise as her ex-boyfriend propelled her into a nearby room. They'd only just arrived back at her hotel after discovering their disappointing finish at Nationals. Everyone was too dejected to notice their female lead, who had been trailing behind her team thinking of ways to repair their morale, being kidnapped by their consultant.

Ok so maybe kidnap was a little strong but she was still being unwillingly driven into an empty dining room.

Rachel shifted uncomfortably as she eyed Jesse. She didn't shy away from conflict. It wasn't in her nature but even her overly optimistic side knew this discussion wouldn't end well.

She'd ignored his texts and calls under the guise of focusing on the competition and she'd been shocked when he had shown up backstage managing to insult Finn and complement her all within the same breath.

He had done it again. He'd surprised her once more and appeared in her life when she didn't expect him too. He'd flown out to see her perform and walked into a showing of her making out with the one person she knew he actually hated.

Jesse didn't take rejection or humiliation well and she knew there was going to be some sort of fallout from this. Some sort of retribution. She just couldn't predict the type or magnitude.

"Are you alright?"

Rachel blinked. She hadn't expecting either the caring words or the concerned tone and both had caught her off guard.

"Am I alright?" she repeated not understanding what he was getting at.

"With finishing twelfth. With Hudson screwing up your performance" he elaborated.

"Oh", Rachel said. "I'm disappointed obviously but what can I do."

What could she do? The kiss had happened and no amount of dramatic temper tantrums would change their position in the ratings.

"I must admit even I didn't think Finn was that idiotic", Jesse mused. "It was almost worth flying out just see that he was capable of it. Or it would have been if I didn't have the urge to kill myself out of mortification and horror on your behalf along with the rest of the audience".

That was harsh. Sure Finn had shown poor judgement and a lack of professionalism but he hadn't meant to harm their performance.

"That's not fair. Finn wasn't trying to sabotage us. He was just trying to express his feelings and try to change my mind", Rachel protested.

Jesse's eyes narrowed suspiciously. "Try to change your mind", he asked. "Change your mind about what."

Rachel cringed slightly. Jesse's body language was still reasonably relaxed and his tone was light but his eyes had darkened slightly. She refused to be afraid but she was wary of unleashing his some-what vindictive streak. After all she knew better than anyone what a dangerous opponent he could be.

A quick glance around the room verified what she already knew. Jesse stood between her and the only exit.

So for once Rachel Berry, the girl who could answer any question and rebut any argument, stayed quiet. Silence was the better part of valour.

Her curbed rebuff however apparently gave Jesse an answer anyway.

"He wanted you to change your mind about taking him back" the older teen guessed.

"I told him no. I want the stage too much" Rachel confirmed.

"So he decided that the best way to convince you otherwise was to throw your dreams away and sacrifice your hard work in an attempt to show that he really doesn't understand you at all", Jesse said scornfully. "How romantic".

Rachel was starting to get a little annoyed. He didn't see how hurt Finn looked when she had turned him down or the efforts he had gone to the night before.

"It wasn't his fault. He was just trying to make me see how much he loves me. How much we"-

"You're actually considering it", Jesse exclaimed in disbelief. "You're actually considering going back to him."

"So what if I am", Rachel said hotly. "I don't see what business it is of yours".

"Oh I'm sorry", Jesse retorted furiously. His temper had most definitely been lit but Rachel was beyond caring at this point she was livid too. "I thought that the time we'd been spending together and you letting me kiss you might have actually meant something. Apparently though you prefer a kiss with a cape", he air quoted the words. "Really Rachel I hadn't realised you had a fondness for immature twelve year-olds who brag to their friends about getting to first base."

"Don't say things like that." Rachel retorted. "Finn is a sweet guy. He's a good guy. He cares about me."

"Oh yes" Jesse snapped. "He really cares about you. He cares enough to put his own interests above yours. He cares so much that he'll lead you on when he has a girlfriend. He'll happily kiss and flirt with you when his ego needs a boost but he'll keep you as a dirty little secret because he's not willing to give up having the Ice Princess and he'll neglect to mention that she's pregnant too."

Rachel opened her mouth to interrupt but Jesse wasn't finished and kept going.

"He's such a sweet guy that he'll drop you at the first sign of hard work or trouble, because he enjoys having other girls fawn over him regardless of your feelings. He'll sweetly make inconsiderate comments about your clothes or your personality and never think about how it might make you feel.

"He's such a good guy that he'll break up with a girl at a funeral. He won't bother to stick up for his friends or girlfriend or even his _own stepbrother_ because it might ruin his reputation as such a great guy. He'll deliberately start a fight at Prom over another girl's date despite the fact that he's there with his girlfriend. He'll hit on another guy's girlfriend with no reservations and he'll have no qualms about cheating himself but he won't hesitate to take the moral high ground when he's the one who's been betrayed.

"Oh yeah," Jesse finished his speech angrily. "He's a real keeper."

Rachel flinched as Jesse levelled each charge against Finn. He was right in his accusations. She hadn't even known he knew most of that. Clearly he'd been spending time wisely gathering Intel on their team.

She really shouldn't be surprised. This was Jesse, but after everything he had done what right did he have to point fingers.

"Like you can talk." Rachel screamed back. "What did you expect for me to just magically forgive and forget? You lied to me.! You manipulated me! You pressured me for sex! You used me for your own nefarious ends and then you dropped me like I was some untalented chorus dancer! You can't just come back and pass judgement."

Jesse raised his eyebrows as if to question her statement. "I came back to apologise and make amends. Can Finn claim the same?"

"At least he never lied to me."

"Really so he rushed to tell you all about losing his virginity to Santana or that he had resumed his relationship with Quinn then?.

"Have you noticed yet that the only time he chases after you is when I'm in the picture? That he only tries to win your favour when your attention isn't solely focused on him?"

Rachel bit her lip as Jesse successfully landed more blows against her defence of Finn. They were standing inches from each other now. Things had gotten heated enough already and still the flames of both their dramatic tempers grew. This would not end well but Rachel refused to let him win.

"At least Finn and I had an actual relationship", she rebuked. "All ours consisted some twisted mind game for you to play."

Jesse's eyes darkened further. They were nearly black with rage now. His jaw tightened and his entire body was stiff.

"You know what Rach?" his voice was measured, calm and smooth but Rachel could detect the ice burning powerfully underneath. "I'm getting pretty tired of you claiming to be just a poor victim. I wasn't the only one who had other motives. You were quite happy to use me to make the overgrown buffoon jealous. You think I didn't notice? It was kind of hard to miss. But then it's always been about him hasn't it."

Rachel dug her hands tighter into her palms as Jesse threw this latest allegation against her. He wasn't entirely wrong she knew, but he wasn't entirely right either.

"At least I tried," she maintained. "At least my feelings were sincere. And you don't know half of what you're talking about."

Jesse gave her a cold smile. It reminded her of the one he had given her after the 'Run Joey run' incident when they each claimed the other had broken their hearts.

He leaned in closer and whispered "yes I do. We both know I am. And I know I'm right about more. I'm right when I say that it'll never last between you two. He'll hate New York. He'll hate the pace and the noise and the fact nobody knows or cares that he was the quarterback at William McKinley. He'll hate the time you'll focus on your career instead of him. He'll hate that when you perform it'll be with other guys and he'll get jealous and do something stupid like storm the stage or make false accusations. He might support you at first but eventually he'll try to make you give up your dreams and put him first like he believes he deserves. He'll do all that because in the end no matter how talented or smart or hot he thinks you are he'll still think he's better than you. That all you are is the unpopular, needy little gleek girl who idolises him like she should. There to massage his ego and a reminder of why he's such a fantastic guy. 'Cause he's just like all the other close-minded, worthless losers in your town and he won't see just how special and amazing you really are."

Rachel had frozen like a statue during Jesse's speech. The callous words keeping her from breathing. She blinked back tears. He was just being a bastard to get even she told herself. He was very convincing when he wanted to be but she wouldn't let him convince her.

"You know I'm right and you know it too deep down. You just refuse to believe it. You're scared of letting go of the fantasy because it might mean that if a moron like Finn Hudson can't realise the star that you are then maybe others won't either. That it would mean that everything you've wanted for the last two years was a lie. That the abuse and humiliation and all the other hurt was for nothing."

Rachel had barely absorbed the words before Jesse abruptly turned on his heel and stormed out of the room, leaving her speechless for what was probably the first time ever.

Jesse seethed as he pulled on his jeans a desk lamp the only source of light as he turned of the light in the bathroom. A shower had done nothing to ease the maelstrom of emotion he felt so he would move onto his next plan. He would go out, get drunk, sleep with any girl who offered and engage in whatever other activity it took to forget that a certain young ingénue named Rachel Berry ever existed.

He reached for his wallet from the room's table as a vigorous knocking occurred. Jesse scowled. He didn't know who would be visiting his hotel room and he certainly didn't want to talk to anyone. The banging persisted however so rolling his eyes and determined to give hell to whoever was disturbing his brooding, he answered.

"You don't get to just do something like that and then just leave. Not again. Not this time."

Speak of the alluring she-devil of a heartbreaker.

Jesse had barely opened the door when Rachel barged past and stalked into the room, clearly already in full diva-mode.

"By all means come in" Jesse commented dryly.

"Where do you get off saying something like that? You show up telling me that-"Rachel cut herself off as she whirled around and took in his clothing - or lack of – for the first time.

Jesse smirked, mildly amused as Rachel alternated between blushing feverishly and swallowing as she took in the fact that he wore nothing that she could see bar his jeans. He was used to female attention. Rachel was far from the first member of the fairer sex to react physically to him. Many others had shown their appreciation when he had been wearing a lot more and a hell of a lot less.

Rachel though was never one though to let a little thing like physical attraction or embarrassment get in the way of a lecture and she recovered herself.

"You don't get to come here and get in my head again. You don't get to criticise me or Finn or anyone else."

"Are you done?," Jesse drawled. He was still absolutely livid and Rachel admonishing him and clearing Finn of blame was not helping things.

Normally he could control his anger. Channel it into a constructive force to carry out whatever revenge he decided upon. Not now though. Rachel had a way of getting under his skin, knocking down his barriers and making him lose command of his emotions.

It was why he had walked away from their earlier argument so suddenly. He had needed to get away before he took his full wrath out on the petite brunette and do something that he might never be able to amend. The urge hadn't disappeared though. In fact it was only intensifying as she stood there berating him. He'd have thrown her out by her hair if he wasn't so afraid that even touching her would set him off.

"No I'm not," she fumed, determined as always to have the last word. "You're jealous. You came back and found that you couldn't get your own way and then decided to take it out on everyone else. You wouldn't even be here if you hadn't flunked out of UCLA", she threw at him.

That did it. Jesse slammed the door he had been holding open closed and marched across the room stopping just inches short of her.

He managed to rein in the urge to grab her and instead hissed at her, " seeing as how you already have such a low opinion of my character there's not much I can do to damage it further so I may as well give you the truth."

He smirked coldly at her and leaned in closer as he admitted his most recent deception, "I never actually flunked out".

He felt a sense of smug satisfaction as her jaw dropped.

Turning on his heel he strode back over to the door and opened it again, "goodbye Rachel".

Rachel had at this point regained her voice. "You lied to me? Why?"

"Get out Rachel", Jesse's voice was firm.

"No", she was defiant as always. "Not until you explain yourself."

Jesse's patience was nearly gone. If Rachel didn't leave in the next minute there was a good chance he'd strangle the girl.

"Rachel leave now before either of us does something they'll permanently regret." Jesse let the curbed emotions loose in his voice for her to hear and let her see the tension in his body.

Rachel's eyes widened at his tone. She was entirely too beautiful Jesse thought as he risked a glance at her. Her chocolate waves tumbled over her shoulders in disarray and her dark eyes reflected the never-ending emotions that eternally cascaded through her being. Her slight delicate frame contrasting with her strong passionate spirit. She was still wearing her costume from earlier. The short black dress highlighting her curves and complementing her olive skin.

She paled slightly and licked her luscious kissable lips as she realised what Jesse was silently telling her. Her warm brown eyes communicating to him exactly what she was thinking. She knew that if stayed something would happen. Something that could have tragic consequences. She understood that she could walk out of the room right now and leave their relationship once again in shards but with the hope of maybe one day salvaging something from the wreckage.

Or she could play with fire.

Rachel Berry had never been one to back away from a challenge.

She crossed her arms, stood up straight and levelled him with a steady and rebellious glare.

"I'm not leaving until this is finished," she declared.

"Fine." Jesse shut the door. She'd known the risks and she had made her choice. He'd given her an out and she'd refused. He had no further obligations. Anything that happened between them now was as much on her as it was on him.

The former couple stared at each other in the ensuing quiet. Both silently daring the other to break first and relishing the dramatic stand-off between them. Rachel broke first.

"Why did you tell me you flunked out if you didn't," she demanded.

Jesse raised an eyebrow and shrugged nonchalantly.

There was no way he was telling her the truth. She already held more power over him than anyone else had whether she knew it or not. He wasn't going to enlighten her to the fact that she had the ability to command even more. So instead he went with the option of paying her back and pushing her buttons.

"I wasn't sure what sort of a reception I'd receive so I thought a little false humility might smooth things over until I could ascertain where things stood. It was something of an experiment. A way of seeing if the oh-so-charitable, flawless and welcoming New Directions would be willing to forgive the penitent traitor who so callously betrayed them through no fault of their own. After all despite having some exceptionally bright and talented members you all do seem to have an unexplainable fondness for the less gifted and intellectually-challenged portion of society."

Rachel glowered and curled her hands further into fists. She had seen the dig buried between his mocking words and she was longing to reply. She'd realised his game though and was obviously refusing to let him win despite it being against her very nature. It would have been comical if the situation was not so tense.

Gritting her teeth to prevent a futile attempt at retaliation she forced a question out of her mouth instead. "What's the truth then?"

Jesse shot her another smirk. He was starting to enjoy himself at least a little by giving her a tiny taste of the torment he felt. He was still enraged but his more callous side at least was starting to get some satisfaction.

"The truth is that I'm a straight A student and I aced my exams. I came back because the semester's finished and I was curious about things in my absence."

"So what was all that about thinking someone else would do your homework for you like in Carmel", she queried. Her voice was dripping with molten anger but she didn't otherwise react.

"Oh it's true", he told her. He deliberately kept his voice cheerfully unconcerned and fully patronising to further antagonise her. "Carmel had other kids do our homework. With the time we spent rehearsing we didn't have a lot of time to spend writing assignments. But see most of the others didn't have my brilliance. I admit I didn't do every assignment but I did do the vast majority and I aced every exam I took. College wasn't much different except fewer classes like science and more free time."

The look on Rachel's face was absolutely priceless and Jesse couldn't resist continuing.

"Don't look so surprised Rach. I have an exceptional IQ. Modesty is for people who don't have the extraordinary gifts that we do. I'm better than them and I don't mind proving it, be it on stage, in the classroom or any other battlefield."

"For what its worth I am thinking of taking a year out."

She was possibly even more ravishing, Jesse mused when she wanted to rip out his vocal cords. Her skin was flushed with anger, giving her complexion a hint of rose and her eyes glittered with the passionate fire that engulfed her. Once again he felt the two warring desires battle in his soul. To kiss her or kill her that was the question.

Rachel stormed across the room her dark tresses dancing behind with the movement. Her eyes glimmered with anger. She raised her hand and slapped him hard across the cheek.

He really should have been expecting that.

"You bastard". Her voice was thick with the tears she was choking back. "How dare you." She was standing between him and the door now, pressed against the polished wood in an effort to force him to let her have her say and unintentionally blocking her own escape.

"You come back and just serenade your way into my life. Again! You act like you actually care. Like you truly are the one person in this world who'll ever fully know me or understand me and love me for who I really am. You convince me that I'm the most important thing in the world to you. You show me how beautiful two people can be joined in music and make me feel like I'm special. Like I'm a shining star.

"And then you just take it away. You make me fall for the illusion and then, because you're a sadistic son of a bitch, you shatter it like a mirror and leave my heart to be sliced to ribbons by the shards," she finished bitterly.

Jesse however wasn't in the mood. She was far from a blameless victim herself. After the torture and agony she had inflicted on him he was feeling far from merciful himself.

"The innocent act is getting old Rachel. You weren't the only casualty in our relationship. You gave as good as you got."

"Oh really," she retorted harshly. "And what exactly did I do? Besides refuse to fall willingly into your arms and bruise your ego that is".

"You made me fall in love with you," Jesse roared at her. He slammed his hands against the door at either side of her head causing her to jump in shock. For the first time he saw fear flicker across her face and panic flare in her eyes. Jesse felt a twinge of vindication. He needed her to know what he had gone through for the past year, he wanted to intimidate her and he had warned her.

But Rachel Berry was not someone easily scared. She straightened to her full height, what little there was of it, schooled her features into a cool expression, lifted her chin and meet his gaze.

"I can't get you out of my head. You're everywhere. You're in my head and in my heart. I'm reminded of you by every girl I meet that's even the tiniest bit like you and by every girl that's not. I hear your voice, chastising me for every cutting comment I make to someone, critiquing my classmates or just singing one of our songs. And no matter what I do I can't get rid of you and I don't want to even for all the suffering you've caused. I can excel in my classes but I can't stop aching for you. It's why I came back. You did the impossible Rachel Berry. You made me feel and now I can't stop."

Rachel's expression had become steadily more astonished during his powerful monologue and now she stared at him in pure disbelief. "You don't mean that." Her voice was shaky but her tone was firm. "This is just is another game to you."

"Do you really think that," Jesse gritted out and not for the first time that day Rachel found herself at a loss for words.

Jesse felt the conflicting desires battle for dominance before the impulse to hurt triumphed over the wish of to have and to hold. Or maybe they had just mingled. Jesse wasn't sure which emotions his compulsions regarding Rachel stemmed from anymore.

He just knew that he needed to feel Rachel's silky soft skin against his be it from loathing or love. He craved to hear her angelic voice cry out his name in either agony or arousal. He wanted to taste her sweet mouth in either pain or pleasure.

Jesse finally gave in to the instinct to kiss her. She stiffened for a moment before relaxing and returning the kiss at the same frantic pace needing him as much as he needed her. It was by far the most frenzied, heated kiss they had ever shared.

It was heaven. He could taste her delicious lips and feel her small body pressed against his as she clung to him. He ran a hand through her hair unintentionally pulling the hidden stretchy headband free from the unruly locks that it had long ago stopped fighting to control.

Eventually the need for air grew too great for them to resist and they broke apart gasping. Unwilling to give up all contact he rested his forehead against hers.

The room thrummed with the emotion that permeated it. The fires of their passionate souls had settled only slightly. The embers still burned steadily awaiting the next source of ignition that would spark a new inferno to consume the pair.

"Tell me you love me," Jesse demanded in a whisper.

Rachel's eyes widened at his words. "Jesse, please. Don't," she pleaded, begging him to halt their journey down the road she knew they were travelling.

He wasn't willing to stop though. The dam had been broken between them and he was determined to see it through even if it was straight off the nearest cliff.

"Tell me," he repeated, brushing feather soft kisses against her neck.

Rachel placed her hands on his chest and pushed him back just enough to meet his eyes. "Jesse, I can't", she whispered. "Anything between us it's too volatile. The good doesn't last. Something comes to interrupt and twists everything we have into something horrible."

Jesse felt the fuse of his temper ignite again at her words. "That's bullshit Rachel and you know it," he growled at her.

Rachel was uncomfortable but she didn't back down, of course she didn't. "It's not. What we have, it's too unsure. It's unpredictable. We're too volatile and impulsive and dramatic. It can't last."

"But with Finn it will", Jesse scoffed.

"He understands me", Rachel insisted.

"And I don't? You said it yourself. I know you better than anyone. I'll understand your wants, needs, thoughts and desires more than anyone else ever will, more than _he_ ever will.

"For Christ-sakes Rachel the boy has trouble understanding the concept of telling the time, let alone someone as infinitely complex as you."

Rachel's eyes sparked with indignation on behalf of the taller boy and she raised her hand in anger. Jesse however saw it coming. Not particularly wanting to feel the sharp sting of her slap again he caught her wrist. She raised her other hand and he grabbed that one as well. Taking both her wrists in one hand he pulled her arms above her head and using the hairband he had pulled from her hair earlier, tied her wrists to a conveniently placed door-hook.

The girl's mouth hit the floor in horror. "What the hell? Let me go this instant."

"No," Jesse said calmly. He was getting a kick out of this and it wasn't as if he'd tied the knot at all tightly. If she stopped struggling and cursing at him and actually paid attention to what she was doing, she would have her hands free in all of five seconds. Instead she just increased her frustration.

"This is supposed to make me choose you?" she spat. "At least with Finn I know where I stand."

"You already did choose," Jesse pointed out, "and its _my_ hotel room you're standing in." He kissed her slender neck as he said it. It wasn't easy with her arms but he managed it anyway. He was Jesse St James.

He sucked at the base of her delicate throat right above her pulse before he bit down ensuring he left a mark.

Rachel whimpered at the gesture but she didn't surrender.

"I love him" she proclaimed.

"No you're in love with the idea of being in love with an improved version of him," he snarled. "A false idealized fantasy version and if you actually accepted the truth you'd realise that the great and wonderful Finn Hudson you're in love with never actually existed."

He moved his lips down the neckline of her dress as his one hand skimmed up her thigh and the other traced her breast. As Rachel stifled a cry a thought occurred to him. Glancing up at her he bit out, "did you sleep with him?"

This time Rachel smirked. "So what if I did. What's the matter upset that someone might have beaten you?," she taunted. "Whether I did or not its of no business of yours."

Jesse bit his lip to stop himself from badly hurting her. The idea that Rachel might have… It pissed him off. He'd never been a good loser and he certainly didn't like sharing. She hadn't confirmed but she hadn't denied either. Well if she wasn't going to tell him the easy way, he'd find out the harder for her and much more fun for him way.

"I doubt it," he said. "The boy might not be a virgin but he still wouldn't have a clue what to do. He wouldn't know how to make you _feel_. How to make you _scream_"

He slowly slid his hand further up her thigh the loose material of her dress letting his hand climb all the way to her hip. He used his thumb to trace the waistband of her lace underwear singing softly in her ear.

She was one of the best actresses he had ever encountered but also one of he worst liars he had ever met. Her body was telling him everything he wanted to know. She had never been touched so intimately before.

He smirked against her ear. "I know the truth now," he sang. "Not even the wonderful Finn Hudson has been let this far before."

His darker side was in control now, he knew that. But Rachel detested being treated like a helpless damsel and she had known she was playing with fire. She had willing taken the risk. Remorse or mercy had never been among his stronger characteristics.

"I'm tied up," Rachel murmured. "It's not like I have a lot of choice."

He couldn't just let her go. Despite the mention of the quarterback he had almost nothing to do with any of their actions. He was merely an excuse to carry them out. No this was between them.

They had started a show for just the two of them. A play to deal with the turbulent feelings between them that neither quite understood. It had become something of a competition and neither could just walk away.

She was trembling under his touch now. Her expressive eyes were filled with constantly changing emotions but fear wasn't one of them. Whatever was going to happen she wasn't afraid. Still seeing her with anxious anticipation on her face he managed to find it in him to give her one more out.

"Tell me you don't love me. Tell me you don't want this. Tell me to stop" he whispered before kissing the spot behind her ear.

Rachel didn't say a word.

He moved his head to the neckline of her dress and placed a soft kiss just at the spot where her breasts met. At the same time he skimmed his thumb just below the waistline of her panties and froze. She was soaked. More so than even he was expecting. So much so that the moisture had climbed all the way up to the top of her underwear.

Jesse had planned to be at least a little gentle since he knew Rachel was so inexperienced. Normally he prided himself of being able to control his hormones. The fact that she was so aroused though combined with the knowledge that no body in New Directions probably even realised that he had a room at their hotel let alone Rachel was in it with him had created a surge of pride and strengthened his possessive and more animalistic nature.

He'd back off if she tried to stop him but otherwise he wouldn't hold back.

He slid one hand under her dress and bra and cupped her breast while his other hand glided over the lace to slip between her legs resting against her entrance. He moved his lips against her ear feeling her quiver. "You are so fucking wet," he breathed before he plunged a finger inside her.

She let out a cry as he entered her, gasping and shaking at the foreign sensation. Her eyes were shut as she felt him stroke her.

"You're so small. So tight," he whispered, "and yet I can still do this." As he spoke he added a second finger. Her panties had tried to impede his progress but he simply tore the flimsy material away.

He squeezed the breast he held kneading it gently and lowered his mouth to take her tantalising nipple into his mouth, pulling her dress and bra down as he did so. However while the stretchy material of her dress allowed the movement the lacy black bra that partnered her now useless panties didn't and ripped.

Rachel didn't complain about the ruination of her lingerie though. She was too busy calling out his name in ecstasy.

He sucked and licked and nipped at the breast in his mouth before releasing the bud and tilting his head to shower the same attention on the other. She had the most perfect breasts. They weren't nearly as small as people commented but they weren't ridiculously large either. Each one fit his hand perfectly and were a gorgeous suitably berry colour.

His hand was slick with her. He curled his fingers inside her, filling her and feeling her juice slip down his fingers to his wrist. He added a third finger.

Rachel's hands, which had long since broken free, were now on his shoulders preventing him from pulling away. Not that he planned too. She was chanting his name as if it was the only word she knew. He wouldn't have been surprised if it was indeed the only word she remembered. She was nearly there. It wouldn't take much more.

He lifted his head wanting to see her face when she came. He pumped a little more and " Jesse", she cried out as the orgasm hit her.

He gently pulled his fingers from her and licked his sticky hand.

Rachel shook as she tried to regain her breath. "Jesse," she gasped as she gazed at him, "that. I"-

She couldn't find the words and he wouldn't let her. Those stunning, expressive dark eyes had told him more than even her magnificent voice ever could. He kissed her furiously not stopping to think that she might taste herself on him. He ran his tongue along hers and inside her delicious hot little mouth.

It wasn't enough though. After seeing her and touching her he needed to taste her. From his fingers wasn't enough he needed to taste her from her.

Breaking away from her tempting lips he trailed a path of kisses down her body his hands gathering the material of her dress up as he did so. "Jesse", Rachel murmured hesitantly as he reached her stomach, "what are you doing." He pressed a kiss to her now bare stomach and whispered against her skin, "just trust me". Rachel accorded in silence.

He palmed the material of her dress as he carefully grabbed her hips to control her movements slightly. Rachel's hands never moved from his shoulders.

It was awkward given their positions but not nearly as bad as one might imagine. Her high heels made it a little easier but Jesse was extremely flexible from his years of dance and he was Jesse St James. There were few things he wasn't capable of.

He pressed a kiss against the small patch of tight curls and then he tilted his head, pressing his mouth against the soft sensitive lips at her entrance before plunging his tongue inside her.

She tasted insanely good. The taste from his fingers had been rich and slightly sweet but coming straight from her it was infinitely better. He lapped up the taste of her as he swirled and licked his tongue against her relishing in her wet warmth, making sure to make contact with the most sensitive parts for her.

Rachel bucked against his tongue even more than she had his hand and he tightened his grip on her.

She was still riding the waves from the first time and it didn't take much to get her to cum once again. She did so faster but also harder this time. Her fingers dug into his bare back hard enough to leave marks and her liquid spilled into his mouth as her head hit the door with a thud.

"Wow," was all she could manage as she leant against the shiny wood. She looked positively alluring now. Her complexion was a mix of her natural olive and rosy flush, her skin glistened slightly with sweat, her dark tresses were in a delectable tangle, her lips bruised and pink and her eyes were bright from the rush of sensations she had experienced.

"Told you I would you make scream" he teased her, leaning against the door beside her. "How much did you enjoy it? I'm not sure I could tell since the only you thing said was my name. Repeatedly." She rolled her eyes. "Like I was the only feel to anything." She gestured at the now obvious bulge in his jeans.

He smirked, put his back against the door and rested his hands behind his head. "Rachel, I'm a guy. One who's on a much more superior level than any of the ones you're used too I'll grant you, but still a guy. And one who just got to third base with the most beautiful girl in New York City. Despite all evidence to the contrary I'm human not god. These things will happen."

Rachel's eyes flashed at his casual words and indifferent tone. She had caught the smug meaning behind his words and was incensed. He had awoken her competitive streak again and she was determined not to lose the game they were playing.

She pushed herself off the door and met his stare. This time _she_ kissed _him_ before weaving a path down his bare chest, stopping when she reached his belt. Placing her hands at his waist she unbuckled the belt and with one hand popped the button of his jeans while undoing the zipper with the other. In one smooth movement she pulled his jeans and boxers down and faltered for the first time since she had spoken.

She stared at him, obviously never seeing a guy naked before.

"Rach"-

"Shut up Jesse." She swallowed while shooting him a determined look. She slipped off her shoes and knelt on the beige carpet. Reaching out a hand she brushed her fingers against him. Jesse felt himself stiffen further at the gesture.

Rachel traced her small hand down him again before curling her fingers around him and pumping. Jesse bit down on the inside of his jaw as he watched her study him. She pumped her tiny hand again before releasing him.

Disappointment didn't have time to set in though before she parted her lips and took him in her mouth.

It was obvious she had absolutely no prior experience but that didn't stop her talented mouth from causing him to lose control. It was his turn now to chant her name as her tongue swirled around his length in sweet torture.

He wasn't able to stop himself from grabbing a fistful of her silky, soft tresses as she navigated him to his orgasm. He exploded in her mouth so suddenly that even he hadn't been completely prepared, pouring his seed into her mouth.

Rachel froze at first, but then recovered. She swallowed and slowly released him, but not before she gave him one last lick clean.

Jesse watched her as he rested against the door. Not even he could put on a showface now. Not that he wanted to after seeing the look of pride on her face as she realised she had mastered yet another talent.

Seeing her lick her lips after knowing they had just been around him broke any remaining chances they had of turning back. He kicked away his jeans and boxers, pulled her flush against him and caught said lips in a fierce kiss.

Her thin dress was the only barrier between them and that thought alone was enough to make him hard once again. He'd always had a quick recovery.

"Are you protected," he asked in between kisses already manoeuvring her towards the bed. There was no question that this wasn't about to happen. Jesse had always used condoms before but he wanted her too badly to move away from her for a moment. Besides he wanted to pour his seed inside her, to fully claim her as his.

"Yes. Are you clean", she retorted mildly. He grinned against her lips, thinking it was a little late for her to be asking that and gave his affirmation before pulling her dress over her head. He let his gaze wander over her for a moment before Rachel fiercely kissed him again.

Jesse would have gladly spent a lifetime studying her lovely form but the need had become too great between them. He had to be inside her now or he didn't think he would survive.

He picked her up and carried over to the bed laying her down gently on the cream covers. She wouldn't let him go though and pulled him with her, pressing her lips against every piece of skin she could reach.

He returned the favour adjusting their positions as he did so. The desire to bury himself inside her hit again and before he could warn her he slid into her hot molten centre.

She bit him.

She had been placing a kiss on his chest right over his heart when he entered her and the sudden pain had caused her to bite down. They both froze. She to adjust to the sudden and painful invasion and he to let her.

After a few moments Rachel began to trash slightly. She arced her back and bucked her hips before mewling his name. The wanton lust in her voice leaving him in no doubt as to what she wanted.

They were both on knife-edge and it didn't take much trusting on his part before Rachel climaxed for a third time that night. Her own orgasm causing her to coax his own form him.

"I love you", he confessed into her ear as he spilled himself inside her.

He collapsed beside her spent. He kissed her sweaty forehead, smiled at her and stroked her hair. She gazed back at him with tired contented eyes and a shy but pleased smile across her lips.

Before she drifted off to sleep he could have sworn he heard her say she loved him.

Jesse felt his muscles ache as he awoke. There was no way in the world he would ever complain about it though.

Rachel curled up beside him also stirred. "Ow. I think every muscle I have and ones I didn't know I had hurt," she mumbled, adorable in her still half-asleep state.

"Welcome to the joys of sex" he grinned at her though a flash of guilt ran through him. It had been her first time and he hadn't been early as gentle as he should have been.

She glanced at the clock and shoved back the covers as she rose. "I need to go. Everyone will be getting up soon and I don't want any one to ask questions."

He frowned anger and jealousy stirring in him. "Oh no" he scoffed. "Couldn't have that".

Rachel rolled her eyes. "Jesse don't be like that." She slipped on her dress. "Everyone's still upset and not placing." She pulled on her shoes. "I think they all went their separate ways to indulge their grief and melancholy." She gathered her black lace undergarments in her hand since they were incapable of being worn, and stood up straight.

"I can't exactly explain that while they were drowning their sorrows I was having sex." Jesse felt the realisation hit her the same time she did. "I had sex", she said her voice was soft, lost and confused.

Jesse jumped out of the bed, grabbing his pants and pulling them on as he headed across the room to her. Rachel had been a consenting and willing partner the previous night but it was only starting to hit her, the magnitude of what had happened.

She stared at her reflection in the hotel mirror as he wrapped his arms around her." I thought maybe I'd look different or something." She turned to him and asked, "do I look different to you". "You look beautiful," he replied brushing his lips to her hair.

After gently guiding her back to the bed, he sat down and pulled her into her into his lap. They sat like that for a few moments. She rested her head against his shoulder and he ran a hand lightly over her hair each lost in their own thoughts.

Rachel's voice broke the peaceful calm. "I did that". She traced her hand lightly over the bite mark on his chest and the scratches on his shoulders. "I did my fair share too", he sighed, studying the slight red marks on her wrists and the bruises that covered her throat and peppered the rest of her body.

"I'm sorry" she whispered, placing a gentle kiss on his chest and repeating the gesture with his other injuries. Jesse let out a breath. There was a purity and innocence to Rachel's core that nothing, not even sex, could seem to erase. He hoped that nothing ever would.

"I really should go," she repeated standing up. She was still dealing with their choice but she seemed to be coping at least.

As they crossed the room Rachel stopped. "I know that Finn and I aren't forever. I'm coming back here after I graduate and I know he'll hate it. I know what will happen with him and in Ohio. It's the after I don't know."

"Then why are you considering it." He wanted to be angry but after the gift she had given him last night and seeing her so fragile and vulnerable just moments ago he couldn't.

She turned to him. "Because I know. I know Finn and I know our relationship. It's the only thing I do know. I don't know what's going to happen after graduation. Not really. Not for sure." Jesse understood the hidden meaning in her words and in those she'd given him last night even if neither had realised them at the time.

Being with him was unpredictable. She couldn't predict him any more than he could control her. She'd never be sure what turn their relationship would take. It scared her. Her world was changing too much, was too unstable for her to brave the risk.

At least right now. Jesse knew, as much as Rachel did whether she admitted it or not that their paths would cross again. They had an unbreakable bond. It was why he had returned to Lima. It was why she had sought out his room. They might walk away but eventually they would be pulled back towards each other. No matter what else happened in their lives she was forever his just like he would always be hers.

"Goodbye Rachel", he said, kissing her cheek. He wasn't willing to let them part on bad terms this time.

Rachel paused once more as she stood in the doorway. "Jesse? I won't ever regret any of it. I know that." And she left.


End file.
